The Beast

our atypical morning is as follows:

1. half asleep in the shower, in the process of shampooing, see something near the ceiling out of the corner of my eye.
2. that something appeared to be a gigantic brown cockroach approximately the size of my palm.
3. fly out of shower. scream to nate that there is a major emergency in the bathroom.
4. say silent prayer that nate doesn't take his normal 20 minutes to "wake up."
5. thankfully he's out of bed, promptly proclaims, "sweet mother! did it eat franny?"
6. nate grabbes tissues. i stand guard behind wet and freezing. (luckily neither of us are afraid of bugs, but the sheer size of this beast was enough to fire anyone up).
7. nate attempts to stand on tub and smash beast on wall.
8. apparently beast has wings and can fly, straight for nate's man goods.
9. nate has a hole in his boxers. causes serious turmoil.
10. when the beast landed, so did nate-breaking the towel rack and right back into to soapy, neked me and on to the floor.
11. beast must have witnessed this comedic mess and hid under the scale where nate finally smashed it.

thankfully, nates goods were undamaged and i returned to my warm shower with only a few bruises. the beast is smashed and the super was called immediately. nate still won't throw away the holey skiveys.